•The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more
teeth than your spouse.
•You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner
table in front of her kids.
•You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
•You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
•Anyone in you family ever died right after saying,
"Hey, everyone! watch this"
•You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia Leader
•You're wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
•You go to your family re-union looking for a date.
•You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded
right off its wheels.
•You had to remove your toothpick for your wedding pictures.
•You have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
•One of your kids was born on a pool table.
•You need one more hole punched in your card to get
a freebie at the house of tattoos.
•You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.
•You can't get married to your sweetheart cause there's
a law against it.
•You dated one of your parents' current spouses in high school.
•You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
•Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
• Your clothes are wearing you ( thanks to Coxy for this one )